My Name is Lily

My name is not Lily.

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“I am afraid that if I share details of my rape or harassment people will lose respect for me and my science.” Lily declined to provide a picture

My Worst Moment: Not my rape and not the pervasive sexual harassment I experienced conducting fieldwork, but the time my advisor asked me to travel across the country to be “the estrogen in the room” at an important meeting between stakeholders. He didn’t ask me to go because of my strong communication and negotiation skills, or because of the work I’d done leading up to this moment, or because I was co-managing the project. He asked me to go because I was a girl.

I Have Given Up On: Being able to trust that the men I work with and rely on will not let me down.

I Am Afraid: That if I share details of my rape or harassment publicly, people will lose respect for me and my science.

This Has Cost Me: Pervasive harassment sent me home from my fieldwork several months earlier than intended and I had to conduct another field season - I’d guess that it directly delayed completion of my PhD by at least 6 months, which translates into 6 months earning a graduate student stipend when I could have been earning money as a postdoctoral scholar or tenure track professor. When I look at my CV and compare it to male colleagues, I know there are deficiencies and I know some of those are because of my experience with sexual violence and harassment, and being discounted or taken advantage of as a young woman.

Something You Should Know About Me: I love what I do and I love fieldwork and I love research, and nobody’s taking that away from me!

Is There a Bright Side: I get to look over my accomplishments and feel like a badass every time I think about what I fought through to get my stuff done!

My Fight Song: Janelle Monae - Cold War