My name is Molly.
My Worst Moment: I started my first faculty job at the same institute as my then husband. Things were fine for a while. One night, we threw a dinner party for several work colleagues. He waited until everyone had left, then attacked me. He kicked me in the back, mauled my arms with his fingernails, then finally wrapped his hands around my neck and slammed my head into a wall. I was frozen with fear and shock and disbelief. Humiliated and terrified, I told no one and just kicked him out of the house. He continued harassing me at my office. He would walk by my house and stand outside my windows waving. He would call my office repeatedly and then begin screaming if I picked up. When I finally did come forward, I was stunned to be met with general apathy. The head of HR told me this was my personal problem, and that if I didn’t like it I should move. The head of my institute characterized the situation as me “disparaging” my ex for telling people the truth about what he’d done.
I Have Given Up On: Getting justice. Getting anyone to care. Getting my life back. Trusting mutual friends/colleagues who know about this and still socialize and collaborate with him.
I’m Afraid: My institute will retaliate against me for this post. My children will see this and be traumatized. He’ll see it and try to hurt me again.
This Has Cost Me: 10,000 to lawyers. Hundreds to my therapist. Years of working more slowly because I was still processing the trauma. Grants I didn’t write because I was attending court hearings and meeting with my lawyer. Conferences I couldn’t attend because I’m a single Mom now, or because he might be there.
Something You Should Know About Me: It took me a long time to be light hearted and have fun again, but I’m doing it.
Is There a Bright Side: I now know I can survive anything.
My Fight Song: Changed the Locks — Lucinda Williams
Secret Weapon: I have pictures of what he did.