Ms. STEM has given up on female CEOs doing the right thing. She says they can be a part of the institutional issue when they protect the men who are the actual harassers and ignore inconvenient issues in their own organizations, because they don’t want to see them. Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com
My Worst Moment: There were many, over a number of years.
Suffice it to say that there were comments on my body, inappropriate comments about me in front of other colleagues, comments about my bodily functions, advances (that I clearly refused), inappropriate comments about other young women colleagues. And so on. His assessment of my work performance went from excellent to subpar after I eventually complained to HR after a particularly egregious incident.
Only after I was eventually let go (go figure) and took legal action did the organization sort of admit the issues. He never apologized and indeed indirectly threatened me, during the legal process.
He still works there, while I was laid off.
My reputation as a woman leader in my sector suffered - and still suffers today - because I cannot talk about what happened due to having to sign and adhere to an NDA to get severance.
I Have Given Up On: Women CEOs doing the right thing - they can be a part of the institutional issue when they protect the men who are the actual harassers and ignore inconvenient issues in their own organizations, because they don’t want to see them.
I’m Afraid: That it won’t change much despite all the attention to #MeToo. I’m still bound by a gag order.
This Has Cost Me: It cost me my six figure job, great health insurance and retirement benefits. I am still bound by an NDA so can only talk about this anonymously in general terms, despite having formally requested my former employer at the highest level to remove the gag order. They refused.
Several years later, while I am employed again, my current job is unstable, doesn’t have the same level of compensation or healthcare, or any retirement benefits.
If I put a number on it all, I think it would be at least $1 million or more in terms of lost wages, lost potential wages for the coming years, and lost future retirement benefits.
Something You Should Know About Me: I am a senior woman in STEM.
Is There a Bright Side: I am a lot happier being out of that toxic environment, despite the ongoing financial hit.
Secret Weapon: I documented everything that happened in real time over the years to me and more junior women on the team to show that there was a pattern and it wasn’t simply a one time issue. I corroborated it with others when possible. I took legal action via an experienced, highly recommended, employment attorney (not the EEOC) when I was laid off. It didn’t get me my job back, but I was able to get a little more money out of the severance process (which I needed in the coming months while I was unemployed), as the attorney saw I had very valid claims. Doing this, I was able to retain my dignity, despite the continuing gag order.
It is on them - not me - that they still choose to employ this individual. I just hope that having flagged it all the way to the top means he is on notice and too scared now to do it to others. But I am not convinced.