Alumni Tear Drops

Alumni Tear Drops
A poem by C.A.R.D.

Tears for years
On Alumni paper
Quarterly crying
Fresh drops of salt water
Damp news of new
Accomplishments and success
Of lessons and professions
Memories of hope
And bright future
Making a difference
Breaking the chain
Of ignorance and illiteracy
From G.E.D. to Bachelor of Science BST
at almost 40
GPA 3.7
A career dream
Made from heaven
Years in the making
A nightmare overnight
Six years hindsight
Death and done in
Like a suicide
The threat still alive
By a man who said
Pointed finger
At my chest
Morning dark
“I determine if you become a teacher”
Stuck my neck out
Stood up for myself
From earned confidence
The first time in my life
Protected with education
Or so I thought
No one was there for me
A Student customer
The College didn’t even care
Graduated with High Honors
Lingering witness
Reminders of failure…
Come regular like a paycheck with zeros
Educated doing what is right
Is what I learned…
Apply transferrable skills they say
And keep trying
First Interviews
Second Interviews
Hope comes
Third Interviews
Am I just an aging EEOC requirement?
Nobody wants an honest person
An honest caring heart
Too good for my own good
I didn’t know rejection would become my reward
It was all the same
“Not enough experience”
“Not enough education”
No one told me the truth
References gone astray
“No record of me”
“Clerical error”
Invisible for too long
Too much time in between
Keep someone out of work long enough
And opportunity is forever gone
As if years of
Never happened
Small town evil
A spell from hell
A good heart you can’t kill
God is on my side I know
As a teacher oath honored
One hundred and ninety credits
No class to learn to play the game
Big ego
Little dick
I refused to lick
No such luck Mr.
Me too
I was screwed
I thought I knew
A 21st century woman
to begin anew
They said I had a strong personality…
Like that is bad thing?
They said I have a big heart…
But never even got a start
Kept trying 
Now I am old and gray
Time has gone away
Still I cry
For what could have been
At-risk kids doing well today
Adults counting their blessings
Playing well the cardsthey are dealt
Doing the best with what they have
And treating all people well
Still counting my blessings
Each day
A career murderer is what he is
Getting away with it
Still in his career
He said he was Catholic
He lied of course
Dependent on my husband
He is a saint
A gift I can’t give my husband
A happy wife 
A happy life
Can’t go on to campus
Can’t run into fellow alumnus
As they have their good jobs
I have hidden sobs
Post Traumatic Sorrow Disorder
Pretend all is well
It is easier that way
No one can get a career for you
Work hard
Get a degree
Pay twice
No guarantee
Only Alumnus Newsletter received
I wished I never attended college
Or had chosen another field
where a woman didn’t have to yield
The costs were more than I bargained for